What I Have
by Night Angel Gunny
Summary: After the episode Requiem Gibbs starts to see what he has and that past has to be let go. He figures its time to tell the one person he loves that he loves them. Gibbs/Tony pre slash well be a slash later on.
1. Author's Note

**Hello all I need to give my thanks to Donna she edited a lot of my stories that I had already post making them more readable know she is helping me with the ones I am writing know and she has done a great job. So much thanks to Donna you are the bomb girl.**


	2. Chapter 1

**Disc: I do not own the characters or the show of NCIS.**

**Couple: Leroy Jethro Gibbs & Anthony DiNozzo**

**Story: Series five and episode seven. "Requiem" This is for after the episode. I know a lot of people are writing Fan Fiction for this one and I have done one myself. But I liked the episode a lot and wish to write another, so here it goes. Going through this whole case, Gibbs was constantly remembering the family he'd lost. It was a slap in the face to him, to see what he had, right in front of him. **

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

I was down working on my boat, thinking things over. Today had been a real slap in the face. Maddie had brought back some memories and she had also shown me that people were still alive. I had a new family, of sorts. Even if she didn't say anything, I came to a conclusion of my own, that I would always have Shannon and Kelly in my heart. But I also had a team that I loved, they were my family now. It had always been there, right in front of me and I hadn't fully accepted it. I had not let myself see that they care about me and that I care about them. Abby and Ziva were like daughters to me. They would never replace Kelly but, all the same, they were like my daughters. Tim was like a son to me and I would never let anything happen to him, if I could help it, and I made sure he was still learning to become the best damn agent he could be. Hell, even Palmer was like a son to me, in a way, though not as much as Tim, but I cared about Palmer and what happened to him, I was glad he had Ducky as a mentor. Ducky was like a brother to me, with a smidge of a father figure thrown in. He was my oldest friend.

Then there was Tony! When I first meet him in Baltimore, I had seen something in him. I don't think I fully knew what it was I saw then. He was a damn fine detective and I saw the potential in him to become a damn fine NCIS agent. I needed a good right hand man at my side, someone who didn't always do what I said and backed down. He backed down when he knew he needed to, but never if I needed to see that something I had done was wrong. Tony was there to make sure I did. I saw a lot in Tony and he was close to me, more than the other agents because he had been with me now for seven years. I don't know if most of them noticed, but Tony always said he had _my_ six. The rest of my team had my back, but not like Tony! He proved that so much today, when he saved me and Maddie. Even with his lungs being as damaged as they are, he was there and he dived right in and saved us both.

I owed them all so much. They were my family, they were there for me. I was there for them, they knew my house was always open to them after hours. Tony used that more than the others, especially whenever his apartment was unlivable, he'd be here, living with me. Abby and I had dinner at least once a month. I had known her even before I had known Tony. I think she had been sending me small hints that Tony was more to me than the others. But she always was telling us all how we were family and she showed it when she was worried about one of us. I had never been one to let my team know how I felt, and it would be hard if I chose to do so. But I think they all knew, even if words were not said. Because our actions always showed that, between all of us. Abby on the other hand, was a verbal person yet she also showed it in her actions. I can't believe it had taken me this long to see what she had been trying to get me to see! That we were all family.

Maddie and I had promised to see each other more and I was glad about that. I think for me to really get over Kelly and Shannon's deaths, she would be a big part of that. She talked about the good times they had when they were alive, when I wasn't there to see her. I was still sad that they were dead but I had to get it into my head, that it was done. That they were watching over me from above and I know they would want me to be happy. If Shannon could say something to me now, she would tell me off for not seeing what I had right in front of me, every day at work. I heard someone come in the front door and someone coughing, I knew instantly that it was it was Tony. He had stopped walking because he was coughing so hard. I walked up the stairs. He looked to me looked sheepishly at me.

"Sorry, Gibbs." I took the box of pizza from his hands and then the beer.

"Don't be, Tony. Have you been to see Brad since you took that dive into the freezing cold water?"

I walked to the kitchen and set down the pizza. I took out two of the beers and went to put the rest the fridge. I grabbed some paper plates, put some pizza on both and set them down for us. He sat down and nodded.

"He gave me some antibiotics, and told me to take it easy for a few days."

I sat down and I watched him take a bite of0 his pizza. He was a handsome man. He hid his feelings just as well as I did, just in a different way. But he had a good heart, no matter what anyone said. He took care of his own and he put himself down far too much. I knew he looked for approval, far more then the others, because of what I had heard him say here and there about his father, who was a dipshit who didn't show any love to him.

"Tony, you're not coming into work until Monday." He looked at me, shocked.

"I'm fi…"

Then a few more hard coughs came from him. It wasn't as bad as when he had the plague, but I did worry about him sometimes because of what happened. I leaned back as I remembered the fear in his eyes when we were on that ship and we had found a dead doctor. Ducky said there was a chance that we were all in trouble of catching a disease that would kill us in twenty four hours. Throughout the whole case, he showed some true emotion, fear of dying. I knew that the bout of plague still haunted him, more then he let us know. I watched him as we ate and drank our beer. We went down to work on the boat. He had been coming over more often since the break up with Jeanne. That undercover mission had messed him up in every possible way. It made him come down on himself even more then he had before, and I needed to let him know how I felt.

I walked over to him, cupped his face and made him look me in the eyes. Then I said what I needed to.

"Tony, you did a damn good job today. Also, when we were on that ship, you proved yourself to be a damn good Agent. You kept your cool when I know that the fear of getting sick again, scared the shit out of you. Don't ever forget that you are a damn good agent and I don't know what I would do without you by my side, Tony. That's an order, Tony, you are to never to leave your job at NCIS. I need you. Got me, Tony?"

I saw the shock in his face, but then he covered it up fast. He touched my forehead.

"Boss you got a fever or something." He was going to try to play this off so I pushed him against the boat and softly looked him in the eyes.

"I am dead serious about all of this. You got me?" Tony looked at me and whispered.

"Yeah, Gibbs. I got it, don't leave you." I pulled back as he sat down on the work bench, sipping his beer, as I started to work. "Gibbs?" I continued to work.

"Yeah Tony? What's up? And we're not at work, call me Jet."

Only person that called me Jet was Shannon and I wanted him to call me that. I wasn't sure why, it could be because the man held my heart like no one ever had, not even Shannon. Not saying that I didn't love Shannon with all my heart but Tony was at the same damn level as her. Even if we were not together seven years with him by my side, he was someone I held dear to my heart. He spoke.

"Jet, thanks for always being there and making sure I do what's right. You have been something no one has been to me since I was a kid. When I joined your team, I finally got a team and a family."

We were opening up! I think it was the three beers we each drank and the fact that we were alone. I took a deep breath.

"You know, I didn't see that until this case with Maddie, Shannon and Kelly will always be with me and I need to stop thinking that I am all alone. You were the start, when I hired you, and Abby as well, I suppose. I just hadn't let myself see that my team is my family. Tony, promise me you will never leave me?"

God, I sounded desperate, and I was! I didn't want to lose any of my team but mostly Tony. He blushed deeply, I saw that when I turned around. He looked me in the eyes.

"Got your six for the rest of my damn life, Jethro."

It was something the Marines did, but I walked over to Tony and handed him a box. He opened it and he found a Rolex watch and it was inscribed on the back. "Senior NCIS Agent" and under it "Anthony DiNozzo". He looked up to me shocked and I grabbed the back of his neck.

"Tony, as much as the two of us have been through for the last seven years, you have earned that, and it is something I want to give you, to show you how damn proud I am of you." Tony threw his arms around me and hugged me hard. I slid my hands down his back and he whispered.

"Thanks, I'll wear it always."

I knew he would too, and I figured he wouldn't show it around! Maybe to Abby because he may need the affection but he knew better than to show off. He just pretended around the others when I said good job, and he would pretend to get a big head.

"You'd better, Tony, 'cause it represents everything you are. Being an agent isn't just a job to you. You do it to protect the innocent and you also do it 'cause NCIS is your family and you're a part of that family."

When he backed of from the hug, he was blushing. He went to put the watch on, he looked at it, stroked the watch even. I smiled, he deserved to be praised more often and he knew that he meant a lot to me, even if I couldn't say it all the time.

"I am not good at showing how I feel, Tony, but that watch is to prove that I do care!." He nodded some and blushed again as he brought out a gift of his own. I smirked, I wasn't expecting that! I took it and opened it up. It was a beautiful knife that would fit in my belt, like the one he wore. The blade was beautiful. It was engraved and I had to smirk as I read it. "Always On Your Six, Gibbs."

I undid my belt and slid it where it belonged and I looked at him.

"Guess this bonding between us went well huh, Tony?" I started to work on the boat and he sat back down, drinking some water. "Tony, have you ever dated a man?"

I could hear him clear his throat. I could tell he was thinking whether he should be telling me the truth so I spoke again.

"Tony, there's nothing wrong with it, before I met Shannon, in the Marines I explored with some of my fellow Marines when we were on leave."

I could hear an intake of breath. I wasn't going to talk until he said something.

"Not since college, Jet. I dated but that was about it, we never got as far as kissing and foreplay. I didn't trust anyone enough to let them go that far!" nodded as I continued to work.

"It takes trust to let a man be on top. I only did once, all the other times, I was on top 'cause I didn't rust the men I was with." I heard him moving nervously.

"Jet, is there a reason you're asking me all this?" I moved my hand along the boat to check where I'd done some work, to make sure it was smooth.

"Yes, see, there's someone that I can see myself being happy with. Not trying to replace Shannon with someone. I want to try and date and see if it could become a long term relationship. I will also be breaking one of my rules if I do this, but I don't care. I think it's time that I let my heart do what it wants." I heard him messing with something on the work bench.

"What rule are you going to be breaking, Jet?" I turned around and walked to him. I lowered my head as I cupped his face and kissed him slowly.

"Getting into a relationship with a fellow agent." He whispered as my lips were about an inch from his.

"You think I can help you break that rule, Jet?" I slid my thumb along his cheek and looked him in the eyes.

"Was hoping you would, Tony. But this is for only outside of work, Tony. When we're at work, I am still your boss and you're still my second in command." He nodded.

"Got it. I can do that, Jet." I kissed him softly one more time and then walked over and started to work on my boat.

"Tony, I want to take this slow. Take baby steps, so we don't screw this up 'cause I really do want this to work." I heard a soft yawn from him.

"Good idea, I agree with that." Then another yawn. "Jet, I should drive home." I spun around.

"Nope, you've had three beers. Get up to the guest room and get some sleep. Be here when I get home from work tomorrow. Let yourself rest around the house tomorrow. Brad is right, you need rest. I'll bring home dinner and we'll watch some movie you can pick out, as we eat dinner. Then you can go home, sound good?"

He nodded as he stood up. He walked over to me, he seemed nervous but I let him make the move, he leaned over and kissed me. I stroked his hips, pulling him to me to deepen the kiss and whispered against his lips.

"Goodnight Tony." He looked at me.

"Night Jet."

He headed upstairs and I worked on the boat. I listened to him take a shower. Then, when there was no more movement, I knew he had gone to bed. He was tired and I knew that today had taken a lot out of him. I let myself work for another hour or two, then I quietly made my way upstairs went to bed. I would take a shower in the morning, before work. I fell asleep happy with how things had gone so far.


	3. Chapter 2

**Disc: I do not own the characters or the show of NCIS.**

**Couple: Leroy Jethro Gibbs & Anthony DiNozzo**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

When I got home Tony was at the bottom of the stairs, passed out in an unnatural position. There was blood on the wall and on the stairs. I rushed over and checked his pulse. I took a deep breath. Thank God! I listened to his chest, he wasn't breathing so good, so I called the ambulance and then I called Ducky, and finally Brad. He wasn't breathing well at all, hell, he was hardly breathing.

"Tony, wake up for me, come on. Wake up, Tony."

He wasn't waking up. When the ambulance got there I got in the back of the vehicle and gave them a run down of that fact he had the plague about three years ago and his lungs were scarred. When we got to the hospital, I saw Brad and Ducky go into the treatment area with him. I was told to stay where I was. I took a deep breath. There were only two doctors I trusted and Ducky was the first, because he'd been with me so long. Then there was Brad, he had done well with Tony, he had helped him through the plague.

"Your ass is not leaving me, Tony. I've only just finally told you how I feel." I had paced for almost two hours, I was getting more and more annoyed, when Ducky and Brad finally came out. I walked over.

"Well?" Brad looked at me.

"We're lucky! It's just a bad infection, not anything else. I am keeping him in the hospital until the infection is taken care of and he is breathing better." I nodded, I had to agree after the way I had found him breathing.

"How bad did he hurt himself in the fall down the stairs." Ducky took his turn.

"Pulled some muscles in his back. He also pulled some ligaments in his wrist, they're doing surgery on it right now. When that's done, he isn't going to get to use his right hand for a good four to six months." I sighed and leaned back.

"You know Tony is going to hate that. He isn't going to get to do much field work. But he will do what I say. How long do you think this infection is going to last for, Brad?" Brad looked at me and he sat down.

"Hopefully a week, and then he needs to stay off work for a few days after that. I have told the nurses and doctors here that Tony is very convincing and not to fall for it. He is to stay until I give them the okay to let Tony go home." I nodded and smirked.

"Good, 'cause Tony is really good at talking people into doing something. If they have to have your okay, that's a good idea 'cause you will know when he's ready to go home." Brad nodded.

"When he is out of surgery, you can sit in the room with him. I have let the team here know that when you want to, you can be in Tony's room. Along with the rest of the team, there is one rule at night though, only one person can stay with him."

I nodded and I would be that one person who stayed with him at night. I would make sure of that. Brad and Ducky went to check in on Tony's surgery. I sat down and leaned back. He was going to throw a damn fit when he found out that he wasn't going to be able to do a lot of field work for four to six months. But he was also good at desk work, when he was given it, making calls and finding the information we need. When they gave me the okay to go into Tony's private room, I went in and sat down. He had woken up in ICU but had gone straight back to sleep. I got in one of those chair that was like a recliner and eased it back so I could get some sleep myself. If Tony needed me, I was right next to him.

I heard some harsh coughing and I got up and helped Tony sit up. I stroked his back and took his hand, putting it on my chest.

"Breath with me, Tony." He started to breathe easier, now that he was setting straight up. I stroked his chest softly.

"Gibbs…. It's late, you should be home, sleeping." I kissed his shoulder as I made the bed into a position were it was sitting up, and eased him back. I sat down and stroked his face.

"Tony, that chair is a good recliner and you know me, I can sleep anywhere. I want to be here with you and I'll get enough rest before I need to get home to shower for work. Plus, I've got the next two days off. I wanted to spend them with you, so I am." He lifted up his wrist and grunted.

"What the fuck is wrong with my wrist? It hurts some, but why is it wrapped?" I looked at him.

"Tony, when I got home it looked like you passed out coming down the stairs. You pulled some ligaments and Ducky says it is easy to damage it more then it already is. From what Ducky says, you can make your wrist permanently weak. It is going to take a few months of rest to get it to heal right. You need that arm to do your work. I will not hear shit about this at work, you will do as told, got me?"

Tony leaned back. I knew he wasn't happy about this. I stroked his hair some then down his face. He also hated hospitals and I knew he hated to be here. I knew he wanted someone to be here with him but he would never ask.

"Crystal Clear." I stroked his face and kissed him softly.

"Now try to get some more rest, it's about 04:00. I'll be here the rest of the night if you need me, just ask. Try to sleep propped up, it will help your breathing. That's how Brad had you sleeping after you had the plague."

The nurse had come in to check on him. She smiled and put something in his IV that had him going straight to sleep. I sat back down and leaned back in the chair. She brought me a blanket and covered me up. I nodded my thanks and let myself go to sleep, knowing the instant he woke and started to make a sound or movements, I would wake up. The next morning I woke up to find him awake and looking out of the window. The nurse had come in about a hour ago to give him a shot. Guess that was for the coughing because he seemed to be relaxed, not coughing, just laying there. Didn't mean he was happy because one thing we had in common was our total hatred of the hospital. I slide my finger along his hand and looked at him.

"Morning, Tony. You feeling okay?" He turned around, he leaned back into the pillow and looked at me. He shrugged and then grabbed the TV remote, he turned it on low, putting it on the news. "Tony, I know you hate hospitals, but you scared the shit out of me, when you feel down the stairs. Just let them get this infection gone and then you can go home." He looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

"I am stuck here because I know Brad, he's made sure that the rest of the people that work here know that I can talk myself out of here. I don't want you spending any more nights here." I sighed some and I sat on the bed. I turned the TV off and cupped his chin, making him look at me.

"No, Tony. I want to be here for you at night. Being in the hospital is hard enough with someone you know being there for you." He pushed my hand off his chin and then shoved the covers back and stood up. I was glad I had brought him some sweats and a t-shirt to wear.

"I guess as the patient, I can tell Brad I don't want anyone here at night or anyone during the day, visiting." I sat there, not sure what to say.

"Tony, I know you don't like hospitals and they make you moody. Tell me what the fuck is so wrong about me wanting be here with you? I didn't say that shit in the basement and not mean what I said about what you meant to me." He slid back under the covers and leaned back, he turned the TV back on.

"Never said anything about what happened in the basement. I know you meant what you said." I leaned forward and kissed him slowly. I stroked my fingers along both sides of his face and I looked at him.

"Then you understand why I want to be here? While I am not working, I want to spend some time with you." His bad hand rested on my lap as his other hand slide along my chest, he sighed and leant forward to kiss my cheek. He laid his head on my shoulder.

"Fine, you can stay but promise you will make sure that you get enough rest. You need to make sure to get the right kind of rest, for work." I nodded as I slid my hands along his face, kissing him again. He kissed me back, his good hand massaging the back of my neck as I eased him back on the bed, kissing him softly before pulling up.

"Just get better fast!" I lowered my head slowly and kissed him, I didn't want him to say anything else. He softly moaned as he stroked my chest, as I heard someone say.

"About time, Jethro." I looked up, it was Ducky. Tony was now blushing.

"Hey, Ducky! What are you up to today?" Ducky smirked and walked over and patted Tony's head.

"Tony, it's about time you and Jethro got together. You two have been looking at each other, lost, ever since he hired you." I shook my head. Sliding my hand over Tony's chest. "I came to check in on young Anthony, to make sure he was doing okay." Tony blush was still there. I had to say I liked Tony blushing.

"Doing okay, Ducky. Only problem is being stuck in this hospital but the medication they give me to ease the coughing is helping a lot." Ducky nodded, I let the two of them talk as I listened. Ducky nodded.

"Well, Anthony, how is your hand feeling today? The doctors think that it will only take four months to heal, not the full six months. You are young enough that it should heal up nicely."

Tony chest really didn't act up through the years since the plague. He had the normal colds in the winter, but Brad made sure he was dosed up on stronger pills that he would probably have to take for the rest of his life. Giving antibiotics for the cold meant it didn't become a worse infection. He had an inhaler for the winter and fall, he had to have on him at all times, in case his breathing shortened and he began coughing. Of course the team knew when Tony went behind a building or behind a car, usually after chasing a suspect, he was using his inhaler. Tony was a healthy man, that's why he was still at NCIS, his physicals always came out good. Tony leaned back as he slide his hand through his hair, he looked at me for a second before he turned to look at Ducky.

"Well, Ducky, that'll be good 'cause I really don't like to be stuck on desk duty." I leaned back.

"Well, you can question family and friends. You can go out with Ziva or Tim to do other things. Collecting evidence and working the crime scene, I'll have to say no because, Tony, you need to hands for that. But I won't just keep you on desk duty. I'll make sure you get to do some investigating." He sighed with relief.

"Good, 'cause, I mean, I have had desk duty before but usually it's for a week maybe, 'cause I have a cold. Brad doesn't want me out in the cold so I can get worse. But I mean, four months would drive me mad!" I slid my fingers threw his hair and nodded.

"Yeah, going to make sure you don't go mad on me, Tony. Only person that could stand that much time working at his desk would be Tim. You and Ziva are better at field duty. Tim is getting better, but he is more our technical guy, along with Abby." Ducky nodded and leant back, looking at us both.

"Well, I am glad you two have finally decided to get together. Are you going to tell Ziva and Tim? Because you don't really have to tell Abby, she most likely will figure it out. You may want to tell her first though, or she will be hurt you kept it from her." Tony nodded, he was best friends with Abby more then he was with Tim and Ziva. She was like a sister to him. He looked at me.

"Ducky, you're good at keeping secrets, so just keep it to yourself for now. I am not ready to tell the team. Maybe if it works out, Ducky, but it's only been about two days. Maybe when it's been a few months, we'll tell them." Ducky nodded and patted Tony's head and my shoulder.

"I am going to check in with Brad before he comes to see you, then I have plans for today. If you need me, call me and I'll come as soon as I can." Tony leaned back, his hand still on mine, as I nodded.

"See you tomorrow morning, Ducky, when you come to check on Tony." Ducky walked out. I slid my hand along his fingers, stroking it along his knuckles, as he looked at me.

"I want to wait, Jet, until we know this is going to work, before we let the others know." I nodded as I stroked his face, kissing him softly and sliding my hand along his chest. I looked at him.

"Tony, I want to know when you get out of here, do you mind coming and staying with me 'cause with one hand, you're going to need some help doing things? I don't want to rush our relationship, but I would like to take care of you. We go to work together, we come home at the same time basically, and I could help you with what you need to do, out side of work." I sat down, sliding my fingers along his hand. He had smooth fingers, the man pampered himself.

"Do I got a week to think about it, Jet?" I nodded as I leaned back in the chair, then stretching out as I stood up.

"Yeah, Tony, take your time. I'm going to get us some coffee and some food. Brad should be here soon. There's a diner nearby, I'll get something from there." He nodded and leaned back as Brad walked in. "Brad, he good enough to eat some food for the diner?" Brad nodded.

"Nothing wrong with bringing in good food for him. Hospital food doesn't taste good and all it is, is an infection in his chest and his wrist has pulled ligaments. If it had just been his wrist that was hurt, he would have been home."

I nodded and headed out as he sat down to talk to Tony. A week passed and I was driving him home to my place, where he said he was going to stay until his wrist was back to normal. He had learned in a week that he needed help with some things, what with being down one arm. I moved him into the spare room closest to my room. Just in case, during the night, something happened and he needed me. He still needed a few days of rest, so I took a week off, and then we would both go back to work together. Tim and Ziva were going to work cold cases, they would be fine.


End file.
